What does "to Each His Own" Mean?

To each, his own... Live and let live. I love that quote.

I personally don't want to use any phrase that's related to Nazi Germany, and I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't want to use this phrase either if they knew about it's use in concentration camps. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if this phrase was considered very scandalous to use in Germany for that reason.

It's very interesting that this phrase has so many origins! It seems to have been popularized by a movie, but it was also somewhat based on the Bible or possibly an ancient Greek phrase. Honestly I think it's impossible to tell who used it first!

@ceilingcat - I agree with you that people seldom use this phrase in a real spirit of acceptance and understanding. However, I don't really think saying "to each his own" is nicer than saying you don't like something. Because you're already saying it in a passive aggressive kind of way. I think it's kinder to just tell the truth!

I know the phrase "to each his own" is supposed to denote tolerance and understanding, but I hardly ever hear people use it in that context. Usually when I hear someone say "to each his own," it's because they don't like something, but don't want to say so.

Saying "to each his own" is a nicer way of saying, "I don't really like that, but it's OK that you do," rather than just saying, "I didn't like it."

@wavy58-- I don't think you should let this phrase get to you like that. I'm sure you wanted your uncle to like and appreciate your music. But people are always going to have differing interests and you can't force people to like and agree with everything you are interested in.

Your uncle could have said something that was more positive, I do agree with that. But when someone tells me "each to his own," I try not to take it personally. Even if that person doesn't have the same opinion as me, I feel that he or she is open-minded and respectful. Because someone who is not tolerant of others would say things much more demeaning and belittling. This phrase isn't all that negative.

@anon85924-- That's interesting. It actually reminds me of a concept that's present in many religious beliefs. The concept is that every person is responsible for their own actions and not anyone else's. So no one can take upon someone else's virtue or sin onto themselves.

So maybe, "to each his own" origin was also referring to how we don't need worry about what other people are doing because we won't be held accountable for it.

I know that "to each his own" is about tolerance and understanding. But I think that we are able to take this stand if what we're referring to is still within limits of our tolerance.

I can tolerate people when it comes to things like religious or political beliefs, hobbies and habits. For example, I don't drink but I have many friends who do and that's fine. I don't judge them for that because we all have a reasoning behind what we do. So I just say "to each his own" when it comes to drinking.

But there are other issues where I have a harder time saying "to each his own." Like I would not tolerate a roommate that was doing illegal drugs at our home. So even though I am a tolerant and understanding person, I don't take this stand with every issue I come across.

My grandfather used the “to each his own” idiom when my sister brought home her long-haired boyfriend who was in a rock band. My grandfather grew up in a time when both long hair on a man and rock music were considered evil, so he instantly disliked the guy.

However, he realized that my sister was an adult and there was nothing he could do about it. If he said anything to discourage the relationship, he would just alienate her. So, he just commented, “To each his own.”

I think that this was his way of removing himself from the situation. He recognized her freedom to choose whom to date, and though he would never understand why she had picked this guy, he wouldn't protest.

@wavy58 – That is harsh. I also feel like when someone says, “To each his own,” they're saying, “I can't believe you like this, because I think it is terrible.”

This is how I feel whenever I ask someone their opinion about something that I like or approve of and they come back with this phrase. However, there are some instances in which it can be used in a way that isn't hurtful.

For example, if you love chocolate cake, but your friend loves vanilla instead, she might say, “To each his own,” and you most likely would not be offended. I happen to hate the taste and texture of cheese, and I recognize that this is very rare, so I am never hurt when someone says this phrase to me in reference to this.

My uncle always used this phrase in a slightly condescending manner. He had a slight air of superiority about him, and though he insisted everyone was entitled to their own opinions, we knew that he really meant he thought we were beneath him.

For example, I invited him to hear my band play at a local arts festival. We had a big following, and I thought he would really like our sound.

When we had finished playing, I asked him what he thought, and he said, “Well, to each his own,” meaning that he didn't like us, even though other people did. This really hurt me.

similar to "mind your own business."

Can't it also be said of "like attracts like"?

"To each his own" is attributed to Cicero, Roman author, orator, and politician (106 BC -43 BC).

A little trivia for you here. There is a 1946 film titled "To Each His Own." It starred Olivia de Havilland and John Lund. The movie tells the story of Jody Norris (de Havilland), who falls in love with a pilot (Lund). He goes off to fight in World War I, leaving Jody to give birth to their son. In her attempt to keep his birth a secret, she loses him to another family and spends her life loving him from afar. de Havilland won an Academy Award for Best Actress for her work in this film.

The phrase actually originally referred to justice as in: "To each what he deserves."